Questions from the Ground: What Different Groups Want to Know About Suicide
I am not sharing my answers.
Surfacing the unanswered questions
I’ve been running Caring for Life’s suicide prevention training programme for different demographics over the past five years. What moves me most is when participants ask questions that clearly trouble them. These are not textbook queries — they surface unspoken doubts, real anxieties, and genuine struggles that sit just beneath the surface.
I’d like to share some of these questions with you — grouped loosely by demographic. I won’t be offering answers here, because I don’t want to suggest that I have them all. But I do hope you’ll take this opportunity to reflect, and perhaps share with me the insights you've gained from your own experiences in the field.
Youths
“I am exhausted. I am currently supporting 2 other friends who are both suicidal. I have tried asking them to seek professional help, but they don't want to do so due to previous bad experiences. As a friend, I try my best to help the,m but it feels non-stop and it is affecting me too. I am very tired, but I don't dare to stop helping them. What should I do?”
“My friend has seen many different professionals, and they are not helpful. She cuts herself many times, and I don’t know what else I can do.”
“I have a friend who is struggling with terrible side effects from his medication. He cannot concentrate in class and is struggling with his results. Can I ask him to stop his medicines for a while?”
“Why do you think the prevalence is on the rise despite countermeasures being in place as well?”
“How effective are the helplines?”
“How often do we check in with someone after they have expressed their self-harm behaviours or suicide ideation? Do we keep checking in till they stop?”
“What if the person becomes reliant on me after I intervene?”
“Where do you draw the line between reporting cases to authorities and dealing with the case yourself?”
Parents
“What do I think if my child doesn’t want to share with me about his/her problems?”
“My child is mixing with a group of friends in the same school who are doing self-harm, and I am worried my child will be peer-pressured to do the same. What should I do?”
“My child is threatening to kill himself/herself when I kept the scissors away from him/her to cut himself/herself. What should I do?”
“The school had a suicide case recently, but they tell everyone to be hush-hush. Why are they trying to hide the news?”
“I am worried about my child. One of his classmates has died by suicide. What should I do?”
“My child is suffering from _______ and is on psychiatric medications. What else can I do?”
Workplace
“One of my staff emailed me threatening to commit suicide if we terminate that staff. What do I do?”
“How do we improve resilience?”
“My colleague got scammed financially and incurred heavy debts. He/she has made the police report and informed the bank. He/she is now deeply paranoid about phone calls and only willing to meet at the police station. He/she also begins to say things that suggest he/she is suicidal. What should I do?”
“Our company has EAP programme. We have been encouraging people to use it but the takeup rate is very low. I don’t know what else we can do.”
Senior
“My friend told me that if you jump from a high-rise building, you will lose consciousness midway and won’t feel anything when you hit the ground. Is that true?”
“Those people who keep saying they want to kill themselves are probably not serious about it. Is that true?”
“My family members stopped visiting me, and I am alone. I don’t know what to do.”
Faith-based
“Why do people have mental illness or suicidal thoughts?”
“Are suicidal thoughts demonic thoughts?”
“Can we include scriptures when we talk to a person with suicidal thoughts?”
These questions stay with me long after the sessions are over because they are honest. They open a window into the emotional and ethical weight people carry when they try to care for others.
I am a teacher at a school where there have been a number of student deaths and suicides in the past couple of years, including my son. I know that our school takes student mental health, self harming and suicide very seriously. In each case there has been a heavy emphasis on suicide idealization contagion. I write about my son's death extensively, and here is a post about the suicide of a student at our school. Please feel free to explore other themes around suicide that I talk about.
https://open.substack.com/pub/lifeafterlucas/p/another-student-death?r=1l1v54&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false